That empty feeling…

desk view

As I type this, I’m sitting at my office desk, looking out over green pastures.

Just a few metres into the paddock, there is a mob of sheep and their marked lambs all camped up, which is unusual for this time of the day.

The clouds are low and grey and the gentle breeze has the smell of moisture on it’s puffs.

My ten snake deterrents are buzzing (and driving me nuts!), the ants are scurrying along the path and I can hear the swish of bird wings as the Mud Larks swoop and play over the roof.

The house is unusually quiet, with the kids still sound a sleep and hubby away.

This should be a good thing, but today I feel very empty.

I’ve handed in Crimson Dawn for editing, I don’t need to do anything for my mother-in-law, because she’s at peace and for once, I don’t have anything I have to do, if I don’t want to.

In actual fact, there is plenty to do and I’ve achieved a fair bit over these school holidays – scrubbing the bathroom roof and blitzing my garden has to be the main ones (yes, I do live a sad life!). These are the sorts of things I do, once I’ve handed in a manuscript, because I ignore them when I’m writing.

There is a huge of a sense of loss, once the story has gone to the publisher. Relief as well, but loss because I don’t have anything I need to write. It’s like my job for the moment, is finished. Done.

Trouble is, as I sit here now, I can’t help my mind from turning over the next thing I would like to write.

Ha! Crimson Dawn hasn’t even been edited yet. *shakes head with disbelief*

Then I fight with myself; ‘you’ve only just finished, stop, you’re burnt out, DON’T, under any circumstance think about the next story. Go clean something or head out and check the hay.’

The devil’s advocate pushes me. ‘Come on, you know you want to. Let’s just bed down the main character. It won’t take long. You don’t have to write anything… But there’s no one here. You should be making the most of the quiet time.’

I’ll let you know what happens!


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