The sun sets…

I’m sitting here this afternoon, knowing I should post a blog, as I haven’t for about a week, but wondering what the hell to write.

As I look out my office window, there are a few chooks scratching on the front lawn and Law, the old red Kelpie, is snoozing in the sun. The cattle are grazing and the paddocks are brown. Everything looks as it should.

But inside the house, there is an expectation. We all know something big is about to happen. Our lives are about to change. Probably not that much, realistically, but enough for us to rear back and say ‘Whoa, what’s going on here?’

We’re not the only ones about to experience their first born heading away to attend school, tomorrow and we won’t be the last. We’re still going have a child left at home, unlike some friends whose third and last child heads off. They’ll be ’empty nesters’!

The sitting room is full of suitcases, doonas, a fan and her school bag. When I asked her what she was thinking, she shrugged and gave me a cheeky grin. ‘I’m not thinking at all,’ she replied. I laughed and said that was a good idea, one I practiced often!

I wonder how I’m going to feel, when only number one son gets off the school bus on Monday. I wonder how I’m going to learn to cook for three and not four – I’m guess there will be lots of leftovers until I adjust! I wonder so many things and yet it’s the natural progression of life.

I want to know how she is going to feel when we kiss her goodbye. What she will that night as she crawls into bed knowing that not only has she just left home, but is starting her first day of high school, the next morning.

Maybe it was my own horror experience at boarding school, which is making me so sad about her leaving. Maybe, I’m just not ready for the sun to set on this part of our life.

She’s ready, though. More than ready!

So if I sound a bit melancholy over the next few week, while I adjust, please forgive me. I’ll be fine once I wrap my head around what is about to happen tomorrow.

Comments 6

  1. Be kind to yourself my dear friend. Give yourself this time with your daughter to enjoy as she embarks on a new stage of her life. It’s just a bugger you get left behind!!! She’ll always be there in your heart if not physically. It is sad that one of the downsides of rural living can be having to send off your kids so early to attend high school. It will be exciting to get phone calls and hear what’s happening in her daily life. Big hugs xxx

  2. I’m having a little weep on your behalf. My daughter had her 18th last night, and I wouldn’t be ready to see her leave tomorrow, let alone five years ago.
    Hope the adjustment goes smoothly for all of you x

  3. Oh Fleur – my heart is sad for you. But … as you say, she is ready and she’s beginning her own adventure now. It just never feels like they are old enough to do so. xx

  4. Hello Fleur, How is your daughter going? I have two daughters away and two still at home. It seems that parenting is about raising our children to be able to manage independently. The problem with this, is they leave the nest and this change tugs at our hearts. Someone said to me when my first daughter left for boarding school, “They do come home.” In my experience when you do see her again and she has blossomed thanks to this challenge…you know it is all worth it.

    1. Post

      Hi Nel, thanks for asking. There were a few tears on Sunday when we left – mostly mine! She was fine then, but not so good this morning. I’m sure is going to be plenty of ups and downs.

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